Short and Sweet
by bub-jw
Summary: Short stories of Jori goodness to bring your day to a close.
1. Chapter 1

"Man, this stuff is gooood. My mom always made this recipe, but never told me how. She _finally_ decided to pass it on to me a few days ago."

"Vega, you can't cook for crap."

"It not really cooking, per say, it's just combining several ingredients together in a mixing bowl."

"Okay, one, it's per _se_ and two, according to me, anything that has to do with you and making food that's fresh is a disaster."

"Whatever, Jade. You won't be talking once you try it."

…

…

"What are you trying to do? The way you're handling that knife makes _me_ a bit nervous."

"Trying… to… separate the… mango from… the skin."

… "Jesus, Vega you don't cut the flesh from the skin. You use a glass."

"Huh?"

"Here, where do you even keep your cups? …You'd think I'd know after dating you for so long."

"Well, that's because you always demand me to make you your drink, instead of getting up yourself. It's over there, top left cabinet."

"Eh, you do the drinks, I'll make the food. Mkay, take half of the mango, cut vertically, and press the flesh against the outer side of the glass. Then, slowly slide it down so the mango is in the cup and the skin is outside."

"Lemme try."

…

"Yay! I did it on the first try!"

"Wow, do you want a freaking cookie or something?"

"No, I want kiss."

…

…

"Fine."


	2. Chapter 2

"Urgghhh, I _hate_ shopping. It's why I strictly stick to a black wardrobe."

"We aren't even shopping for clothes. It's _furniture_ for _our_ home."

"Can they be all black and be done with this?"

" _No,_ Jade. Come on, I see a two for one sale for beds."

"OH, so you don't wanna sleep with me, I see how it is."

"Wait, ugh, _Jade_ , gimme your hand back. I didn't even mean it like that. …We need a guest bed. Jade!"

…

"...Man, I hate running. ...I'm sorry!"

…

"Stop with that face."

…

"It's not gunna work."

…

" _Fine_ , the small living room can be all black."

"Here's my hand."

"The things I let you do."

"I love you too, Vega."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: These aren't in any particular order.**

 **XXX**

"Step up. Small dip down. To the left."

"I don't understand why I need a blindfold for this. Wha- ow! That's it I'm taking it off!"

"No! We're almost there, hold on."

…

"Kay, lemme undo the knot."

"Finally! What the f-? Vega, I hate ducks!"

"Uhh… I didn't bring you here for the ducks. Um, we're here for the view!"

"Right. I'm loving the beautiful, muddy, decomposing logs presented in front of us."

"I swear, I didn't know! I thought it would've been cute to watch the ducks and maybe go for a swim."

"You know how you can make it up to me?"

"Hm?"

"Skinny dipping."

 **XXX**

"Man, I _hate_ ducks."

"I didn't know, Jade!"


	4. Chapter 4

"You said you hate ducks."

"Yeah, I _hate_ them."

"Then why are we back at the lake?"

"You'll see. ...Now, the rope…"

"What now?"

"Vega, do you wanna gut some ducks?"

"No!"

…

"Ew, Jade, that's barbaric."

"Try to catch one. It's harder than you think."

"...Fine. I'm not killing them though."

"That's my girl."

"Your girl only."

…

...

"You look constipated with the effort you're putting into this."

"Way to ruin the moment."

"No, seriously. Look."

"Wha-, I don't lo-. ...Pfftt. ...How are ducks so strong?!"

…

"Stop laughing. I'm all wet, now!"

"It was going to… happen anyways… tonight."

"Jade!"


	5. Chapter 5

Tori bangs open the marble door of their mansion, intent on taking a shower, then going straight to sleep after a long day of recording. She rounds the corner ands sees a piece of paper on the kitchen accompanied by a gun shaped item. Dragging her feet over to it, she picks it up and toys it curiously while reading the note.

 _Hey Vega,_

 _I know you had a hard day, so I decided to play a game. I have a another copy of the Nerf Gun on the counter. The bullets in there are your only ones, so use them wisely._

 _As of now, the game begins._

 _Love you,_

 _J. West ;)_

Tori stared at the words, her brain already fried from recording, tries in vain to comprehend them. The only she understood were, "Love you, J. West." It wasn't until something whooshed past her ear and stuck onto the cabinet in front of her that she reacts. Grabbing the weapon, she clicks it and holds it out at arms length, her head cocked to the side.

The half latina did a three sixty before ducking behind the granite counter and concentrated on controlling her breathing. Once it was down to the point where Tori could hear other things other than her heavy breaths, she eased her gun above, then inch by inch, her head. The singer darted her eyes left and right, then executed a perfect roll over the counter and to the tile floor. She bends her knees and mentally thanks Trina for giving her lessons on martial arts and her dad for being a cop.

Tori strains her hearing and catches a scuttle in the other room, the den. She crab ran to the opposite wall and presses her back to it. Again she listens. An idea pops in her head. She stretches her hand to the dining table for a pen and throws it so it bounces off the sofa and hits the glass vase adjacent. Almost immediately, a dart whizzes in the general direction of where the pen was thrown. The singer retaliated in the same amount of time, but she hit her mark.

Jade hissed. Tori grinned, "Ha! I win! I win…" she trails off when she sees the pale adult clutching her left eye. The bullet laid on the ground, next to the hit woman.

"Jade? I- I'm sorry. Was your eye open or closed when it hit?" Tori questions worriedly. She places her gun down on the floor and approaches her girlfriend. Just as she extends a hand, Jade moves with a speed Tori didn't know she possessed.

The latina feels a sharp sting on her abdomen. "Ow!" Her expression morphs from concerned to annoyed.

Jade glances up, her green orbs dancing with playfulness and affection, "Gotcha, Tori." Her already present smirk grows wider when she sees the singer scowling. "Come on, I know you're not mad." She pokes and prods at her ribs.

Tori's mouth twitches. The actress throws a crooked smile and tilts her other's chin so her eyes would meet her own. "I love you," she says innocently.

The brunette gave up and allowed the grin to take over. She shoved Jade back, "You drive me crazy."

"It's my job, Vega." She leans back lazily on the table behind her.

Tori rolled her eyes, but sat next to Jade on placed her head on the girl's shoulder. "Thanks for today."

"Anytime."


	6. Chapter 6

**XXX**

 **A/N: Inspired by a video on Facebook. Please, provide some criticism.**

 **XXX**

It was a relatively normal Sunday for the couple in the Vega household. Jade was sitting on the infamous red couch, with a laptop on the armrest. Tori walked over after microwaving some popcorn and plopped her head on her girlfriend's lap.

The pale girl immediately shoved her off and chuckled softly. Good thing the bowl was already placed on the table.

Tori scowled at her, "Gank," and repeated her earlier action defiantly. The "gank" in name just rolled her eyes playfully and decided to allow the act. The half Latina grinned boyishly up at her, "I can get off, if you really don't want me on you."

"It's fine, your head is where I want it." Jade winked over exaggeratedly.

Tori's face grew warm and stained pink. "Don't be so dirty."

The thespian gasped in faux innocence, "I'm not. It gives me reassurance that you trust me enough you put a vital part of your body right where I can chop it off."

"Only you can be so sweet, and then ruin it with something horrific."

Jade reached over for a piece of the snack and then flicked it at her girlfriend's face in opposition, "I am not _sweet._ "

Tori stuck her tongue out, "Are too. I made you soft, Jadey." She then promptly moved her attention to her phone to prevent any further comments.

The writer narrowed her eyes at the offensive name, but didn't reply. She, too, turned ways back to her script. It slowly went from a horror and tragedy to a romantic tragedy. Jade honestly hadn't the slightest idea of how that came about, but decided to keep it. Afterall, it was good to unexpected in your works.

Tori, meanwhile, was scrolling through The Slap .com (no, not dot gov) with her headphones on. She came across a particular video that had the thumbnail, "Tag a friend that laughs like this," with multiple laughing emoticons. Clicking on it, it started to play two people sitting on a bed- a man and a woman, both holding phones. The man was most likely web searching and the woman was on the line with someone. The language wasn't anything Tori could decipher, but that clearly wasn't the point as the woman started laughing hysterically.

" _AHAhah-hah-hah-AH-a-ah-hah-hah-a-a-a-a."_

A small pause, some words exchanged, then:

" _BAHah-hah-aha-ha-HA-ha-a-a-a-e-e-aa."_ Two words. " _Ah-a-hah-hah-a-a-a-a."_

The man was apparently fed up with the insane guffaws, so he grabbed the phone out of her hand and threw it violently to the ground. A one second pause and the man opened his mouth to

" _AH-hah-hah-ha-ha-hah-ha-ha."_ The man pretended to return to his phone, only to mock the woman again.

" _Hah-ha-ha-HAH-ha-ha-ha-ha."_ He scowled at her, wazzed off, then the video cut off.

By the end, Tori was shaking in silent laughter. Jade glanced down, "Vega, _what_ the hell are you going on about?" The half latina attempted to compose herself, but failed after looking at her pearphone again.

The goth snatched the item and replayed the clip. She stared incredulously and squinted her green eyes. "How does one even laugh like that? Wait, no that's an insult to that word. How does one… ex-plode… like that?"

Tori propped herself up, gasping for air. She leaned on Jade's shoulder. "Who cares, that was the most I've laughed in awhile," the singer replied airily.

Jade smirked, "Guess we'll have to change that… with the TICKLE BUNNY TWINS." She whipped twin index and middle fingers up above their heads.

The half latina immediately ripped her head away and scooted back slowly, with her hands held up in surrender. "Uh… Jade, please, no. Me duele estomago." She tended to revert to her first language when nervous.

"Too late, Tor…" The pale teenager pounced.

"Aw- wh, ma- an," Tori groaned through giggles.

 **XXX**

 **A/N: "A… hilarious… [video], that now has… [5.3 million] views."**

 **If you guys want to see it you can find it on Face book. Then in the search engine, type 'Df Magazine'. The post should be there. If you still can't find it, go to the 'videos' section of Df Magazine.**

 **A rough translation of what the woman was laughing about is: the other person on the line told her she just had a newborn who weighed 14 pounds.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Very minor possible spoiler of The Civil War. Very minor.**

 **XXX**

"Why must we go on the _release_ date of Civil War?"

"Because all real Marvel fans do that."

"But look at the linneee."

"If you didn't take so long to get ready, we would've been here eons ago."

"That doesn't change the fact that the theater is going to be packed either way."

"I wonder if I could threaten the crowd like at school…"

"I _really_ doubt that's a good idea."

…

"It's so freaking cold."

"...Here, you big baby."

"Thanks, Jade. ...You know I still can't believe you're so warm."

"I wasn't originally."

"Awhh."

…

 **XXX**

"Oh my _god,_ this Peter Parker sucks ass."

"Hm. I dunno, he's kinda cute."

" _Oh._ Well that helps with my ego. Plus, I'm talking about his acting."

"You know that I think you're the fairest of them all."

"Don't go all fairytale-"

"Yeah, his acting skills are kinda lacking."

"Kind of, right."

"SHHHH," someone hisses loudly from behind.

"You shut up!" Jade retorts.

"What the heck! Lady, are those _scissors?!"_

"And you better pray you run out fast enough after the movie is over."

"Aren't you going to do something about your friend?" The man demands of the singer, a bit nervously.

"Eh, I'll stop her if it starts getting too severe." Tori kept her back facing the man to prevent him from seeing her amused expression.

" _What?!_ "

"SHHHH," came the shushes of multiple people.

The half latina leaned over and whispered, "Did it look like he wazzed himself?"

"Yeah, Tor. Fucking hilarious."


	8. Chapter 8

"Press the button on the top right," Jade commanded lazily.

"I know how to do it," Tori snapped back. Befores she hit record, she plastered on a smile.

"Hey Slappers. So the last time I asked you guys for a new video idea, most of y'all requested I do the tin can challenge with my girlfriend…" The latina gestured toward the said girl.

Jade rolled her eyes, "Kay, seriously if there are people out there who don't know me," she pulled out a pair of scissors, "I'll make sure you do next time."

"Honestly, you guys _should_ know Jade."

The pale girl smirked, "Right. Anyways, the tin can challenge is where we each have a certain amount of cans filled with something the other person doesn't know what's in them."

"In our case, we both have two tins. Jade will go first."

"No, you're going," she sent her a light glare.

"No. Same time."

"...Fine."

They both scooped a glob of mush with their spoons and shoved it quickly in their mouths.

Tori's face turned slightly green. Her head lurched forward and she clasped a hand over her mouth, attempting to force everything down. After finishing she swipes the glass of water on the table up and swishes the remaining gunk out. The singer ran to the bathroom. The faint sound of the faucet running could be heard from the living room.

Meanwhile, Jade struggled to keep an impassive face. While she managed the processed food better, it didn't make it any less nasty.

"What the fuck was that, Vega?!"

"I could ask you the same thing!"

"Spam puree is way better than this green shit."

"You gave me _spam puree_?" Tori emerged from the lavatory, "Chunky-Funky Cilantro is better. At least they don't have a weird stank to it."

Her pale green eyes flashed dangerously, "You. Gave. Me. _Cilantro_?!"

"Uh, huh, Jade. It wasn't that bad, right?" Tori backed up slowly, "I mean you can't even taste it… oh crap."

"Jade… Jade… chill out." She circled the infamous red sofa to form a barrier between her and the raging beast.

"Are you foaming at the mouth? _Oh my god_ ," the latina squealed while being tackled to the tile floor.

All the could be heard from the pale teen were grunts and animalistic growls.

"Uhh…" Tori spluttered as the shadow over her loomed closer and closer. She seemed nervous for a few moments before gathering her guts together. "What are you going to do, huh? Punch me? Kick me?"

That caught Jade's attention as she finally produced English. She leaned back, but remained straddling the latina. "Oh I won't hurt you. Something much, much worse will do."

Tori gulped, all confidence from before vanished into thin air.

 **XXX**

Tori Vega

Hey Slappers… what should I act like tomorrow for school?

Feeling… Scared

Erin Sikowitz said: Be a dog. The. Whole. Day.

"Ha!" Jade scoffed, "That's perfect."

"Do I really have to do this?"

"You made me eat cilantro."


	9. Chapter 9

"What do you wanna eat?"

"Wherever you want."

"Every time I name a place, you say no."

"Wherever you want, I don't care."

"Yes, you do."

"I don't _care_."

"So if I pull up right now, at this restaurant, you wouldn't complain?"

"Yes! I. Don't. Care."

"Oh my _god,_ Vega! We both know that you'll start complaining."

"No, I won't. You choose what to eat. I'm so hungry right now, I'll eat anything!"

"Worst than me when you're on your period."

"What?"

"Nothing!"

"I'm _not_ PMSing!"

"I never said you were."

"Just pick a place already!"

"Fine."

"Fine!"

 **XXX**

"That food was so good."

"Yeah, well."

"I love you so much, Jade."

"You're just saying that because I managed the impossible: choosing the right place to eat."

"But I still love you."

"Me too."

"Hey!"

"I'm _joking._ I love you, too."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Beck is also in this chapter, as you will notice.**

"Jade, remove your feet off the table."

"I do what I want."

"It's not even your table, you should remove them."

"Go f-"

" _Okay!_ Beck, stop belittling Jade. She can keep them on, it's fine."

"See? _Tori's_ okay with it."

"Well that's because she lov-"

"Wow! A new episode of _Celebrities Underwater_. How exciting! _Right, Beck?_ "

"Uh, yeah."

"Beckett, what were you about to say?"

"Nothing! He was about to say… nothing. Let's just watch T.V.."


End file.
